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March 8, 2005

Playing All the Cards  

I certainly favor the County Commissioners attempting to close the door to slots in Frederick County through a zoning amendment, but it already seems that the votes for action are not present.   There is no doubt that the welfare of the citizens and families in the state will be diminished by slots.  Some of us recall the corruption that existed back when slots were in Maryland previously.

Children suffer.  The poor and minority populations disproportionately suffer. That’s why there has been an effort by churches and religious institutions against the evils of slot gambling.

The State, having taxed most other impure sins of the populace, now must resort to creating new forms of gambling to raise money.  Scratch-off lottery games only attract a miserly crowd of convenience store dregs and those with a buck or two after their liquor purchases.

They’ve driven tobacco users to the brink of ruin, and have taxed good ole moonshine since Mr. Washington’s time,  now if they’d only tax themselves on the street corner ladies of Annapolis, perhaps we’d get a return on our investment in the legislators sitting through the annual session. 

In fact, the impoverishment of poor families through gambling would generally tend to increase the pool of available young ladies for sale on our streets.  Other states do it, as they often argue, and we’ve already got Marylanders driving to Nevada to partake in these activities legally, so I say, let’s keep that money here in our state!

Having tapped into taxing the sins of most adults, what’s needed to further brighten the state’s financial picture is a way to tap into the monies that might be derived from taxes derived off of children.  They’re not paying their fair share! And doing so can further unburden our social services costs.

I favor an out-right sale of children for a variety of purposes, after all the money is needed for many other services for the seniors and mid-lifers, and we’re tired of the ancillary educational costs anyway.  It would also strengthen Social Security to reduce future benefit pressures.  

If we could thereby cut the need for schools in half, then we’d be able to meet our county zoning requirements and APFO, and build many more homes without building new schools, it’s a win-win situation!


Perhaps with the beef scares from mad cow disease, children might be substituted.  A child of two or three years of age, properly raised, certainly makes enough for a small roast, and with vegetables, a meal.  Few children today are trained well enough as workers that they’d prove profitable for most trades, or even desirable as servants. 

 They’ve been trained to consume, which is good for producer prices, but a fortune to maintain them as stock, that’s why we see so few families of twelve anymore like the old days when they could work on the farm. 

Perhaps a few suitable institutions might employ their services, but they’d tend to be pretty expendable, which means most could again still be consumed if properly selected for replacement on a scheduled basis.

But I am not convinced that Speaker of the House Busch has capitulated to slots or will allow them to succeed.  It does say something interesting that the vote was only favorable by one, almost as if a hidden hand was trolling for crab with a big juicy chicken neck.  The boy Governor declaring it a landslide!  And, the Speaker of the House, allowing the legislators to give a very public and ‘conscience’ vote for the folks back home.  Imagine it, a shill vote in Annapolis?  No way!  No way!  It never happens!

Did our Frederick County Delegates all miss the boat on this one?   I do not believe that the public in Frederick County truly supports this one.   It's one thing to poll for slots and quite another thing to see them hauled in, set-up and turned on while buses of quarter-toters roll up outside.  We may dream of the revenue, but more for roads than schools, they sold us the school money with the lottery after all, and look where that money is now…the general fund, and we’re not getting our fair and needed share of school construction funding from it.

But if we’re going to abandon our traditional tourist appeal, why not further our potential attraction with a prison.   There’s sure to be increased crime after folks play out their dollars gambling and the rent’s due. 

The prisoners are a steady funding stream, for food and upkeep, there’s jobs to be had watching the flock, and their families will visit our area.  If a prison were placed convenient to the casino, we’d have a double-take on deriving money from all those visitors.  No more need for historic sites brochures and restaurant ads. 

We can sew up the Frederick market, it’s a done deal.